March 27, 2012

I totally believe in the power of prayer and Jesus, but I had to laugh at this!  I love it!  Started my opk's today.  Cycle Day 10. I can only hope that femera makes me ovulate sooner than later.

I Want the Family Bumper Sticker TOOOOO.

March 24, 2012

It has been officially over three months since I have ovulated, and I just finished my last round of Provera last night.  Although each day feels wasted when I'm not actively taking medicine to ovulate, it was nice to have a small break last month (cycle lasted 2 months with no sign of ovulation on my own).  I now find myself going back to the anxiousness of knowing I have to temp, ovulation test, and then try to time sex right with Darren.  We are at the point where he as asked me to NOT tell him when I'm ovulating.  It's too stressful.  He has actually given me permission to "trick" him.  I'm just hoping that this dosage works and we can get back on track. 

My biggest prayer is a miracle: we get pregnant this month on our own without an IUI (we won't do and IUI till next cycle since this is my first time on this medication). 

"In all things it is better to hope than to despair."    -Von Goethe

If I have the choice between the two, I choose HOPE.

Darren hates these but I <3 them.  I'm HOPING to announce my pregnancy to him with these stickers!

The Early Bird Catches the Sperm

March 23, 2012

Just started Femera. So far so good.  Hoping the dosage is enough to make me ovulate this month.

Not a fun situation, but laughter helps.  This is a song about the "Bird's and Bee's"  This can really really become an obsession. 

If You Have Triplets Can I Have One?

March 1, 2012
My little sister Heidi is my best friend.  She is 3 1/2 years younger than me.  We were each other's maids of honor.  When we were single we spent a month in Costa Rica together.  I would die for Heidi.

Heidi had a much easier "dating" relationship than me.  She found her soul mate and they got married a year and a half later.  Things for Darren and I were much more of a "broken road."  Heidi got married first.  Ironically, I was always the one obsessed with marriage.  I was happy for her, but it stung.  I got married 5 months later.

Heidi and Joel have been praying for us since last February to get pregnant.  Her and Joel had been living in Mexico as missionaries for the last 2 years.  In December 2011, she told me that her and Joel were going to start "trying" when they got back and wanted to make sure it was okay with me.  It was.  I had spent months fantasizing about how I would announce my pregnancy to the family.  Although I secretly wanted to be the first one (as the oldest child) to announce to my parents "you shall soon be grandma and gramps" I also knew that God's ways are higher than mine.  I did cry when she said it, because deep down, I knew it would happen first for her.   

And then it did.  One month after trying actually.  She called me first.  I can't express how happy I am for her, and how, this child will in fact be a part of me and share my DNA.  I can't express how happy I am for them, the joy of starting a family.  She got to tell my parents.  Her child will make them grandparents first.

I cried hard.  Honestly, not out of bitterness or jealousy, but out of how tired I am of trying.  Heidi and Joel got to "have sex for fun and see what happens" and poof.  Where my bathroom has become a science lab for ovulation and our sex life has become a chore and often burden because of the "IM OVULATING NOW" situation.  But, just like her having the first wedding, we are now both happily married. Just like her having the first baby, maybe we will follow suit 5 months later?

Heidi and I on the night of her engagement

 I love you Heidi and I love you future niece and nephew too!!  I did ask if she had triplets if I could have one and she said "Sure."

My Bucket List:

My Bucket List: