Sometimes I get a wave of "conviction" for the amount of emotion, fear, crying, time I put into ttc. I forget how blessed I am to have Darren (a miracle in itself) when many of my friends are still waiting to find their husbands. I forget the years I feared never getting married and the amount of tears and prayers I put into that (the emotions are all to similar to the hope deferred of wanting to have a child).
One of my dearest friends from church has been super supportive throughout my ups and downs. She recently started trying to conceive and last night at Bible study shared how her OBGYN called her saying there were "complications" with her blood work and that her and her husband needed to come in. Today she found out she is having ovarian failure and has a 5-10% of ever conceiving. She is 26.
She said, "Well, looks like God is wanting to do a miracle through me."
Wow. I haven't been told I only have a 5-10% yet I have never once said "God is wanting to do a miracle through me." I have cried and been angry and begged God, but never peacefully expected it. How honoring her response must be to the Creator.
Darren wanted me to read his devotion on dreams and Joseph and one thing that stood out to me was: