Today was my first official day back to work but the students don't come till Wednesday. Although its hard to get into work mode, it's a blessing to occupy my mind with something OTHER than baby land.
Last night we saw "The Odd Life of Timothy Green." Bad move on my part. It's about an infertile couple who "couldn't have tried harder" (quote from her RE) and she had exhausted all medical options.
They decided to "make a baby" by writing all of the things their child would have had and been like (because of them). They bury the box in the backyard as a symbol or burring their dreams of birthing a child and magically that child grows, comes out of the garden, and lives with them instantly calling them mom and dad. Each time he calls her mom her heart seems to melt.
I couldn't break myself from the blues/depression I've been in the last week with the 7th failed IUI and the impending fear of the most likely IVF and Darren gave me the pep talk or how great my life is in all other categories, how to choose to enjoy what I have and to hope for what I don't. Easier said than done, but he is right. Though I feel deep fear and sorrow, happiness is a choice.
It seems like every show I've been watching with a little adopted girl from China, the girls name is Lily. A few days ago I asked Darren "if we adopt a girl from China can I name her Lilly Lynn (Lynn is my middle name)?" It seems so cute and fitting. Anyway, in the movie last night they end up adopting an Asian girl named LILY!! Weird.
I know I'm not pregnant, but since I'm trying to plan "positively" for the future, I thought it would be fun to throw out some of the names we have thought of:
Lilly Lynn Benson
My sister's middle name is JOY and my sister in law's name is Rachelle. Both cute middle names.
Jude Samuel Benson
Judah Samuel Benson
Jayden Samuel Benson (remember that Jayden means GOD HAS HEARD). I love this.
Kalen Samuel Benson
Red are my favorite, purple are Dar's
Names that got shot down by Darren: Bentley, Carter, Jet, Willow
Here is a clip from the movie when they are dreaming up what their child would be like...I'm not at a point where I can or need to do it (and hope I never have to) but it's cool.
I know how you feel and I also get in those ruts where I'm so sad for what I pray so hard for. I just know God's plan for both of us to become parents one day is so perfect! I pray you have peace until that happens and that we can share the pregnancy journey cyberly together.ReplyDelete
I would love to be cyberly pregnant with you!! Praying for you too. God is good.Delete
Totally went and saw this movie after you posted this blog, lol, so now I'm all caught up on your blog! Thank you for sharing this journey with me!Delete