Waiting (so difficult and feels so long). Knocking down heaven's door. Asking that God breathes His breath of life into my womb. Praying for grace and mercy and peace despite the outcome. Here are some "gems" to put my focus on Him.
(Side note update, after all the hype, only 4 little embryos were frozen. I'm okay with this. They said they were all great quality but 13 would have been more exciting!)
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire if You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness if You want me to
Jesus, you say the fruit of the womb are a reward! God, you say blessed is them an who fills his quiver with them. Father, I ask, that you make my womb have fruit. I ask that you choose to bless Darren and I this time, with children.
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Lord, you commanded us to be fruitful and multiply. It was in your original plan. You love to create and you made us in your image! Jesus, allow us to "create" a child in our image as well. Please allow us to experience fruitful and multiply
Psalm 113:9 He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD.
Father, you PROMISE to settle the barren women. You cannot lie because you are good and holy. I pray that this cycle, you fulfill this promise in our lives. Make me a happy mother of children. If you want us to pursue adoption, I pray you open our hearts to that. But Lord, please answer soon.
Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.
Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD, and returned and came to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her.
But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.
I love this! I was torn for a bit if doing IVF was a sign of "not trusting God" if I went forward with the agressive treatment but then I read this verse. These people in the old Testament knew they were going to be under attack so they prayed (faith) AND posted a guard (taking action).