This One's For Jude and Brinly

March 12, 2014

This Saturday would have been the latest day the doctor's would have let me carry J and B so I always told people my due date was March 15.   To make the day less sad I remind myself that any day in March could have been a safe/happy/possible due date; but the 15th is the one Darren and I chose to acknowledge.

If you are new to my blog/story here is the shortest recap to bring you up to speed:

Over the last 3 years we have undergone 11 fertility treatments including: 1 IVF that resulted in an early miscarriage, a failed frozen embryo transfer, and our third IVF treatment in July 2013 resulted in our dream come true:  triplets.  3 perfect heartbeats.  We lost one randomly at 9 weeks but went on with a normal/healthy pregnancy.  At 17 weeks my water randomly broke on the bottom twin (Brinly, our daughter); this rare occurrence known as pPROM happens to .4% of the population.  We did all we could to hang on but I went into labor 1 week later and delivered my daughter.  She was 9 inches and 6 ounces.  Jude, our son, stayed put-this gave us unexplainable hope we would be able to keep our son.  The doctor's sewed my cervix shut to try to keep him in and infection out.  I held on for a week but an infection got to his placenta, causing me to go into labor again.  He was born at 21 weeks, 11 inches, 1.3 lbs.  Both babies were 100% healthy/normal-it was my cervix that was not.   We made this video to recap the journey from finding out we were pregnant to saying goodbye way way too soon.

To honor them we have asked that anytime this week/March 15 be a day of random acts of kindness and paying it forward-to step outside our own deep grief and try to brighten someone else's day.  We would like to believe that Jude and Brinly would have been the type of people who loved and served others.

Thank you so much to all who participate.  Darren and I would LOVE to hear what you did or if someone did something for you.  You can post below or email me directly at hollybenson10@yahoo.com.


Thanks to my awesome siblings Heidi and Robby who made me these little images. <3 you!



33 comments:

  1. That video was beautiful. I love the idea of random acts of kindness on the 15th. I definitely will be participating.

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  2. Thinking of you and although I am a firm believer in random acts of kindness everyday.. I will make sure I go "overboard" (not in a silly way), in memory of both of your precious Angels. I saw this video and thought of you-- Here is the link-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CnUtVY35o&feature=share I hope that you are taking gentle care!

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. I would love to participate for the memory of Jude and Brinly.

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  4. Hi Holly, I will definitely do something this week to Pay it Forward in memory of Brinly and Jude. Their lives have already touched so many of us and this is a great way to spread the love on their behalf.

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  5. I'm still deciding what I'm going to do but I'm definitely participating! I'm going to print the images to leave behind too. I also posted about it on my blog--I hope that is okay! I don't have many followers, but I wanted to try to spread the word if I could!

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    1. I so appreciate this!! Thank you Melissa!!

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  6. I will be participating! Thinking of you today xoxox

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  7. The video was beautiful Holly... As I sit here crying my heart still aches so much for you and Darren. I will continue to pray for your happy ending holding Jude and Brinly's sibling in your arms. You will be awesome parents. <3 you friend.

    Of course I will be participating.

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  8. Your video was so touching...tears are streaming down my face.

    You're so right about this not being the end. Great things are in store for you, I'm sure of it.

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  9. I shared this in on my blog today - I hope that's ok. I will definitely be participating in honor of Jude and Brinly. You are still in my thoughts and prayers, Holly.

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    1. Thanks for sharing it and thanks for the prayers!!

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  10. Today I honored the memory of Jude and Brinley by taking a special cookie to my elderly neighbor whose wife is out of town. May God bless you as you continue to heal from the loss of your babies.

    Alice in Wilsonville, Oregon

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    1. This is perfect. Thank you for sharing!!

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  11. Ahhhhhh Brinly and Jude...I miss you....This day is so much different then we had planned....You were loved so so so deeply....Today is for you...Today is tougher then I thought...It brings back the ache of not getting to see you grow up...not getting to be with you here...I will miss that....I am thankful that I will see you one day...thankful to spend eternity with you....but today I am aching for you....Although i grieve with HOPE....I am missing you...Today will be a day filled with blessing others...reaching outside of ourselves to make the difference I know you have brought into this world....Today I will purposely look for a little mommy who is exhausted....and bless her...I will look for an older women who is counting her pennies...and bless her...Today we honor your memory...Your Mommy and Daddy are such giving people...You would have been just like them...They loved you so deeply....We all still do....Today is for you, Brinly and Juder bugs! I am excited to see your "foot prints" continuing to make a difference in peoples lives....love love love you Grandma Jodie xxoo

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    1. Thanks mom. They would have adored you.

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  12. I love that video. I am definitely participating in honor of Jude and Brinly. <3

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  13. Today, in honor of Brinly and Jude, our family made a meal for a family who is currently fighting cancer. I thought of your little ones and of how much this family would be blessed in return.

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  14. Ok so now that the day is over I can tell you how awesome it was to do so many things out of love in honor of your twins. It was a incredible day so I thank you so much for putting this out there. Amazing generosity to choose to bless others despite your grief! My respect and love go out to you and your family. So I started the day off getting coffee and was unable to buy it for the gentleman behind. I explained to him why I want to buy him coffee and he was so touched by your story he decided to participate. As we talked more he told me of his daughter and how for years they struggled with infertility and they have been going through the adoption process which has been stressful. Someone has picked them and their baby is due in July. They are so hoping that the mom doesn't change her mind so they can be grandparents. They want grand babies so bad so I told them they are more than welcome to spoil my kids. They go to this coffee shop everyday so I'm now going to make it point to go see them as often as I can until they get their baby fix. I feel so blessed to have met this wonderful couple and it's only because Brinly and Jude lived and their parents continue their legacy. Thank you. So after that we bought some flowers and I had intended to put them on a random doorstep however my daughter (who is 2) had other plans. She gave them to the nice lady at the Starbucks counter in the store. It brightened her day and we shared Brinly and Jude with her. Then that night was date night for us and of course being the coffee addicts that we are went through a Starbucks drive through and paid for the persons drinks behind us. The woman at the counter did not seem phased just gave us their receipt and sent us away. She did not hear the miracle of your family. Bummer for her. Then at dinner we paid for a sweet older ladies meal who was eating alone. She didn't know it was usbut she was so grateful it was sweet. And then we gave our waiter a 100% tip. She was so wonderful. A single mom raising 2 boys working a job and full time school. Amazing. So in honor of brinly and Jude we tipped her good because she deserved. And for today those 2 babies lived and blessed. By by far I feel the most blessed. I wouldn't have met some of the people I did today and I'm so grateful! I'm so sorry for your pain but I'm amazed to see how God is working through it all to touch so many lives! Praying for your incredible family. Knowing that huge blessings are on their way!! Thank you! Love and blessings xx

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    1. Wow this is so cool!!! I love this!! Thank you for sharing ALL the sweet and cool things you did! ♥

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  15. In honor of Brinly and Jude, I printed off grocery coupons and as I did my shopping, I attached these coupons to items all across the store, hoping to spread just a bit of cheer for people going in to buy what they need. I also went to visit my elderly grandmother. My grandfather passed away a couple of years ago and my grandmother spends a lot of time alone now. Making the trip to see her is long and inconvenient, but I know she loves having company, and I love taking her out to eat and shopping, so we did that this weekend! Doing RAOK in remembrance of your sweet babies was such an honor. Hoping that reading some of these stories brings a little bit of sunshine to you, Holly.

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    1. Jessica the coupon thing is so creative!! I love it! Thank you for participating :)

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  16. I brought my 2 friends cupcakes while they were in the hospital with their 5 week old baby girl who isn't gaining any weight. Thinking about all 4 of your angels and the difference that they were able to make in the world through their mommy and daddy :)

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    1. Thank you so much!! This is so sweet.

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  17. My husband and I paid for the two people behind us in the drive thru. We left copies of the images you included, so that they might chose to read Jude and Brinley's story and maybe pay it forward too!

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    1. Thank you!! I so love you handed out the images too!! :)

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  18. We donated money anonymously to a stranger's adoption fund. Just read their blog and wanted to honor your babies. You are all in our prayers.

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    1. Wow!! This is so clever and related! I love it!! THANK YOU for helping another family build their family. Beautiful.

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  19. I had decided that your family, your angels, who have been in my thoughts and prayers since I started reading your blog, deserve a whole lot of love, so I am going to make an effort to do many random acts of kindness. It started on Saturday and has continued since then. I just hope that as you read everyone's RAOK, you feel the love that is poured into them, because there is a lot. Here is what I have done so far, I have bought lunch for the people behind me at the "restaurant", I did the lottery ticket idea, where I leave them in random places, I have bought coffee for the little old lady behind me, I have held open every door I walk through, for the person behind me, even sometimes leaving it feeling awkward because they were so far behind me. I just want you to know that I think you are such a strong, caring and amazing person. You keep fighting through circumstances that would destroy many. Just know that someone in Minnesota is thinking of you and spreading the word on your story.

    Jenna

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    1. Jenna this is so cool!! Thank you!!

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  20. Beautiful video and what a beautiful way to remember them by, being so selfless for others, by many.

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  21. Sorry I'm just now posting! I kept praying for an idea and ended up feeling led to send a love gift to a lady whose husband just deployed and is having a really hard time. Your sweet babies will not be forgotten<3 I pray you get to hold their siblings soon! Comfort and peace to you and your husband!

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