My Bucket List:

My Bucket List:

About Us

Holly & Darren







At age 18 I was told they thought I had PCOS. The doctor said getting pregnant may be difficult, but there was medicine to help when the time came...

10 years later, the time had come. My husband Darren and I got married in January 2010 and got off the pill a year later. Things were exciting and fun at the thought that "this could be the month." We decided to seek medical help in the summer if nothing worked.  The first few pregnancy tests I took that were negative didn't faze me at all.  In fact, I felt bad for the infertile people, assuming I'd get a positive soon.

Our bright hope slowly began to fade dull as I didn't get regular periods and an unexpected mediocre sperm analysis came through. By the time July rolled around, I was ready. The "let's try for fun" was not fun anymore. Since then I've experienced clomid, femera, provera, artificial insemination, HSG exam, HCG trigger shot, pelvic monitoring, false ovulation positives, failed IVF, IVF that worked and then I lost the triplets at 9 weeks and then delivered the other 2 stillborn at 18 weeks and 21 weeks-a true living nightmare and we are still moving forward. 

About US:
I'm  30 years old and have been teaching high school Spanish for 9 years.  I also have recently been teaching education classes at the local university.  Darren is 31.  He works for a large investment company that deals with clients in the UK and just finished school with a degree in Organizational Leadership.  We love playing games, hosting Bible study, sports, watching Modern Family, and hanging out.  We are Christians.
 
We have been trying to conceive for about 3 years.  Some doctors have previously told me I have PCOS but my recent doctor doesn't want to jump to that.  My pelvic ultrasound came back normal, but when it boils down to it, I don't ovulate on my own.  On top of that, Darren's sperm count is often low and his morphology (shape) is only 6% normal.  This makes conceiving a bit more challenging...

This has been a really heartbreaking journey.  Darren has a lot of faith that God will provide and isn't too worried (he is the optimist).  I, on the other hand, have hope, but also a lot of fear.  I do believe deeply in my heart that God is good and all He is does is good, so I'm holding on to that for now.

We have had EIGHT unsuccessful IUIs.  In November 2012, we got pregnant through our first round of IVF, all to find out I was having an early miscarriage (7 weeks).  We bought 4 IVF attempts (2 fresh, 2 frozen).  The FET didn't work.  We got pregnant with triplets on IVF #3 but lost them all-the worst was losing the twins at 18 weeks and 21 weeks because I got an infection-the babes were perfectly healthy. 


So that's it.  Oh ya, our last name is Benson.  That's where the "babyben" comes in.  Follow along the journey of the hopeful "makingofbabyben"


9 comments:

  1. Ya'll are adorable! Prayers for you on this journey!

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  2. I just stumbled across your blog and have spent the past hour reading and reading, nodding and nodding. Thanks for sharing your story!

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  3. I just came across your blog today (and read the entire thing). I just found out that I had my 2nd miscarriage this past weekend and have been totally heartbroken. I'm so sorry for all that you've gone through. And I know that sorry doesn't do anything for the pain. Reading through your entire blog I found it very comforting seeing your unwavering faith throughout your journey. It was really something I needed to be reminded of during this time. I would love to talk to you when you are in a place to talk. Please email me nicolebrems@yahoo.com <3

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  4. Came across your blog thanks to Megan Brink. Y'all have inspired me so much! Please know that you & your family are in my prayers.

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  5. Your blog brought me to tears. There are no words that can heal your pain-only God can do that. Praying for you! I don't know if it will help any, but I've heard about this newer method that helps couples struggling with infertility and just wanted to make sure you knew about it. Here is the website-http://www.naprotechnology.com/infertility.htm

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  6. Stay strong you guys are amazing people and I am amazed by the strength you to have. I will have your family in my prayers and will continue to follow your blog. This blog will be an amazing journey you can share with your family some day I have really enjoyed really reading it and amazed by the strength your family has!! STAY Strong you guys are awesome!!

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  7. I have read your story a few times now, each time I am amazed at your strength and your love. My husband and I have done 5 rounds of IVF, all unsuccessful. I watch your video of you doing the home pregnancy test and I think of myself and my dream is to have a positive. Then when you tell your family, and your gender reveal of your twins, and my heart just breaks. This is what we all want so badly and we get poked and prodded and so many tests...and then to have it all taken away...I pray for you...may god give you strength to heal.

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  8. Holly! I wish you had your email address on your site! I was thinking about you today and some books you might "like".. A Broken Heart Still Beats: Anne McCracken and Mary Semel. Hello From Heaven: Bill Guggenheim and Judy Guggenheim. Beyond Tears: Ellen Mitchell. Oh and have you ever heard the song "Held" by Natalie Grant? It's a really good song. One of my favorites. ~ Thinking of you, Jamie
    ugottahavehart.blogspot.com

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  9. Holly, I have been following your blog for some time and decided to revisit this page. You and your husband are both truly incredible people, a really great couple, that has endured far more than most couples will ever endure. I am in awe at the strength you both have. You both are always in my prayers, dear heart.

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